Me: Man, I need to stay awake I have a midterm tomorrow and I haven't started studying
Maria: Me too, I have an essay due tomorrow and I haven't started
Me: Apparently 15 minute naps work but you have to sleep on an uncomfortable surface
Maria: Hah uncomfortable surface. I knew that bed of nails would come in handy one day..
Me: Would you have sex with some random chick you just met on a plane?
Mitch: If she was hot, hell yeah!
Me: But you don't know where she's been!
Andrei: But you know where she's goin ;)
(looking at a really bad drawing)
Antonio: Why is there a bird at her vagina?
Me: ...That's not a beak. That's a tongue. It's a human.
You don’t love someone because they’re perfect; you love them in spite of the...– Jodi Picoult (My Sister’s Keeper) (via eletheowl) (via taaabs)
Maria: HAHAHA you made me choke on my stupid teddy graham...
Steph: I love teddy grahams!!!
Maria: Yeah!! I almost loved them to DEATH thanks to you
In reference to heels.. and other things
Rachel Zoe: Let's just admit it, everyone looks better with seven more inches.
Brad: Seven inches everywhere.
Nothing makes a woman feel better than a whole slew of gay men cheering you on,...– Rachel Zoe (I’m pretty much addicted to this show)